Treasure or Target?

I was surfing the internet recently looking articles relating to marriage, particularly ones dealing with ways to improve and strengthen your marriage relationship.  We have friends who are experiencing a difficult time right now in their relationship and we are seeking ways to encourage and strengthen them. 

To make a long story short, I ended up chasing rabbits and came across the below article which was written in response to a teenage girl’s question about targets and treasures.  I really thought the author did a good job and decided to share it with you.  I would be interested in hearing what your thoughts about the article are.  

Question:  How do you become a treasure if you are already a target? 

Congratulations to you for asking this question.  Believe it or not, it already means a couple of great things.  It means that you care about making your self-respect and worth greater.  It also means that you are honest enough to look at the different ways you are being viewed, and then strive to make it a better view.  So as hard as this question can sometimes be for people to ask…. just asking this question means you are on the right path.  Hopefully, a treasure path.  

I’m not going to say there is a simple route with an easy answer to this question, because there isn’t.  This isn’t about a look, it’s about a lifestyle.  Being a treasure means that you KNOW you are valuable.  And it means that you are striving to make sure that people see you for the person God has created you to be, from the inside out.  So while there isn’t a way to put this all in one letter, I thought I could at least break down a few helpful pointers that can influence you towards looking like the treasure that you are.   

Your clothes, Lady!!  For crying out loud, your clothes are about your body.  If you don’t want us completely distracted by your body…then you have some things to learn about us.  I always say “Guys are interested in what they think you’re advertising. Not necessarily what YOU think you’re advertising, but what we think you’re advertising.”   

That means, in basic terms, if your body looks available, then we’ll want your body.  It’s the way we are designed.  There’s nothing wrong with it, but we need your help.  If a 14 year old boy sees a picture of a nude woman, his brain is able to recall about 13 characteristics of that same picture when he is 70.  It is stored in a certain part of the visual region of the brain.   

All of that to say, you have to be very careful when it comes to the way that you present yourself, the way you dress, and your overall opinion about your sexuality as it pertains to your body.  There’s nothing wrong with owning modesty.  The great news is that the right guy will appreciate it even more, and at the same time you’ll keep away people that are just interested in your physical aspects.   

Targets are often sexual, Treasures usually aren’t!!   

I can’t find out a more blunt way to say this, so I just said it.  If you are sexually active, you are a thousand times more likely to be viewed as a target by someone.  People will know you’re sexually involved and will then associate you as being sexual in more situations than if you were not.   

Girls who look like treasures aren’t sexually involved, because they realize that your reputation is incredibly important to you now and in the future.  It’s a representation of your morals.  This might be hard for a lot of girls at times, but it’s still important.  Hey…nobody said that the right choices would always be the easy ones, but if it helps you to know… then you should know that most (54%) of high school teens are NOT sexually involved.   

Learn to say NO!!  If you think Spanish class is important, try learning No in your everyday vocabulary. It will probably be of more use than Spanish in your life.  Luckily… it means the same in Spanish.  Seriously, learning to set limits and boundaries as a girl is going to be vital, and feeling confident about saying no, as well as other refusal skills, is going to keep you out of a lot of situations where you can end up being a target.  1 out of 4 girls is sexually assaulted in their lifetime.  Saying No confidently can help reduce these odds greatly.   

Treasure map? 

Look around you.  What do girls who know they are valuable do differently than girls who look like Targets?  Is there something that you can healthily emulate in an older role model that will help you make this change?  I have found in my life that it’s incredibly important to have older guys to look up to.  They have been further down the road than me and have a lot of good tips and advice that I continue to learn from.   

P.S.  You might want to bring a notepad.   

The last tip! 

You have to know something.  And I mean you really have to know this, and I hope that you’ll believe me when I say this.  You have a unique laugh, you have a certain smile, you have hopes and dreams that are different from everyone else on this planet.  You have a wonderful heart and an inquisitive mind.  You already are a treasure!! God made you, he has you in mind, he wants to look out for you, and he wants you to know that you are incredibly valuable, and that you are his treasure!  But it’s up to you to see this, spend time on it, and incorporate this into your heart.  And you can do this… and my hope and prayer is that you will.   

Good luck to you and I pray for all of you girls each day that you will simply know the worth that has been given to you already since the day you were born. 

Chad Eastham

Free in Christ — Reflection #1

 

In the preface of his book, Free in Christ, Cecil Hook states that if you are frightened, shaken or agitated by the suggestion that we in the Churches of Christ may not have all the neat answers as we have supposed, this book is not for you.

 

In chapter one, Cecil emphatically states that we are divided and shares a list of 100 issues over which we have disagreed, and in some cases over which we have drawn lines of fellowship.   He claims that in developing such issues we have become hair-splitters serving a God of quibbles.

 

In chapter two, we discover that the tendency of man is to emphasize the lawful demand and to minimize or fail to discern the principle.  Cecil declares that it is truly a trust in legal justification that causes a person to obey commands simply because they are commands.  He challenges us to focus on the principle behind the command rather than the command, stating that it is the principle that should rule our conduct rather than the command.  He illustrates this by reminding us that we do not commune to obey commands and follow examples but rather to remember that Jesus died for our sins.

 

Chapter two contains the statement that no examples are binding.   In chapter three, he continues his attacking sacred cows by informing us that the law of Christ is not a book, a listing or a code of laws.   According to Cecil, Christ’s law is love.   He claims that Christ gives us commands, examples, exhortations, warnings and principles as guidelines for the expression of love – our response to grace.

 

At this point in our review I believe it is a good time to stop, reflect and ask a few questions.

1. How do you feel about the study so far?
2. Do you disagree with anything discussed in the first three chapters?  If so, what and why?

3. Are you confused by anything discussed in the first three chapters?  If so, what and why?

4. Have you been guilty of seeking justification through keeping of law?

5. Does this discussion make you nervous?

6. Is there anything you would like to see discussed more in our reviews?

As expressed in this book, one legal system did not replace another.  God didn’t send another law, He sent His Son so that we could be free.   Are you experiencing this freedom?

Free in Christ — Chapter Three

Why can’t you see, that freedom is sometimes just simply another perspective away?   Who could you be, if your lens was changed for a moment, would you still be the same? 

The above words, lyrics from a song entitled Perspectives, will serve as a springboard for this week’s chapter three review of the book Free in Christ by Cecil Hook.   Could it be, as suggested by the above lyrics, that freedom actually is just another perspective away?   If you have been following our review, and reading Cecil’s book, you already know that Cecil believes that perspective plays a major role in our understanding and experiencing freedom.

 

In chapter one, Cecil writes that unless we change our perspective, we shall continue on this ill-fated course.   The ill-fated course of which he speaks is that of legalism; a course focused on doctrine and lawful requirements rather than Christ, it is characterized by a judgmental and exclusive attitude where grace has been limited to achievements.   In chapter two, he continues his call for a changed perspective, by stating the difference in approach will determine whether we gain the approval or denunciation of our Savior.  His use of the phrase difference in approach is a reference to the contrasting perspective between a person motivated by the principle behind the law and another motivated by the desire to gain favor with God through keeping technicality of the law.

 

For those seeking justification through keeping technicality of the law, Cecil calls you to remember the sincere Pharisees who were eager to keep the commandment to tithe in its most minute details.   They gained a sense of rightness through keeping the command to tithe, but they missed the purpose of the commandment which was to promote justice, mercy, faith and love.   In their case, perspective was everything.   Jesus was not pleased with their misguided perspective; neither will he be with ours.

 

Honest introspection is necessary if we are to truly experience the freedom that is available in Christ.   Ours, as Cecil reminds us, is a personal relationship with Christ rather than a legal relationship.   And, as he is quick to point out, to say that ours is not a legal relationship is not to say that we are not under the lordship of Christ and the sovereignty of God.

 

In the third chapter Cecil addresses the question “What is the law of Christ?”   His answer is that Christ’s law is love and informs us that Christ gives commands, examples, exhortations, warnings and principles as guidelines for the expression of love which is our response to grace.   The beautiful part in all of this is that we don’t love because we are commanded to love, but rather because he (God) first loved us.

 

This leads me, once again, to ponder the thought presented in lyrics at the beginning of this post.   Is freedom simply a different perspective away?   I guess the answer to that question depends on which lens you are looking through – on whether you seek justification through your ability to keep law, or through Christ’s sacrificial gift on the cross.

 

For me, freedom has definitely been just another perspective away.   How about for you?

What are your thoughts?